Infusion Drugs My Untethered Soul and a diet tracking app Who R U?
Today, I am starting back on a biologic drug for my Crohn's. I peeled the details off into a separate blog post. Like the character in Lady in the Water, who spends the whole movie in the bathroom while his wife tells everyone what is going on with him, I am a man with no secrets. If you are interested in my Crohn's disease, look for my TMI posts.
I wanted my blog post to be about what I do outside of being ill. Lately, I have started to lose more functionality to the point where I must assess if I need to narrow my activities. I live by the Gretchen Rubin Mantra, "Every hour a new day."
What am I reading this week?
The Untethered Soul | Michael Singer
You don't know me! As a mantra to take to heart
I almost grasp the concept. I get a general idea, like the slogan that says one should not judge people because one does not know what their life is like, that I can grasp. Since I know to cut others some slack, I can understand that I need to cut myself some slack. That is what I am taking away from this book. We can't judge ourselves because we don't know ourselves. However, by chapter 10, I collapse into Austin Powers' confusion when he sits down at a card game and he allows himself to introduce himself. For Austin and everyone at the table, things get weird.
It's Buddisim
This journey to grasp this book's message is about making space between what I am doing and what I am thinking. I have not finished yet, but there is an exercise to try in the earlier chapter that is helping me to feel the gap between my inner self and my outer actions. First, I say "hello" to myself, and then I ask myself, "who are you?" So far, there is only a blank space. But I am profoundly aware that when I speak to my unknown depth, there is an unrealized space.
What am I working on?
The recent change in my disability status has given me pause to consider my priorities. I am narrowing down my focus to be sharp as a tack on building issues. That means keeping track of when vendors are coming to work on stuff and asking questions of the supervisor to make sure my reporting is current and accurate. That's as much work as my body can handle. I did two hours of paperwork on Wednesday and had to lie down for two hours.
I have been reminded that while I am dealing with the effects of my illness, I also feel my age. This leads me to my second tack. I can knuckle down on my diet. I want to see if I can cut out things that are hard to digest and cause issues. Eating the wrong things compels me to be dehydrated. Also, eating right is still essential for all the usual reasons. I have an app to count calories built into myfitnesspal.com account that also helps track my macros. That is the percentage of food types I am targeting to create a healthy balance. Overall it is a bit less food than I am eating in an unmonitored way.
Reading the Unteateherd Soul teaches me to be aware of the inner me. For example, taking time to monitor my diet makes me aware of how I can better care of my body.