Being Seen, Dog Butt, Frustrating Results.
We watched American Fiction this week. It's a tight script. A writer who has not written a book in years needs cash to care for his mother. He hits gold with a formula he has previously turned his nose up to. He keeps his authorship a secret to the point where the conflict alienates his friends, girlfriend, and brother. My husband said he felt seen, not in the same situation, but more like seeing his life sideways. And I have similar results. Seeing and recognizing ourselves in the lives of others is a powerful experience. Exposing ourselves to conditions that put us out of our everyday activities is good, like getting down on hands and knees to see precisely what is rolling around under the driver's seat that you can't quite reach with your fingertips at a stop light but is clearly visible from the side. "My missing flashlight."
If you have ever seen the Tim Burton movie Nightmare Before Christmas, you will recognize this spark as the "Eureka!" moment. Think about when the slumping-spirited Pumpkin King is invigorated with a fresh perspective in Christmas Town. "What's This? I see me here, too."
Don't struggle; ask questions and make new choices.
Dog Butt
Our dog is old, going grey. Currently, when our friend's dogs pass, we feel their pain. We think about how little time we will have with our old lady dog, maybe a year or two. Today, I fixed the hook we hang her leash from by the door. It's in the shape of a dog butt. It has a broken bit on the back that I patch with a bread bag clip every year or two. This may be the last time I perform this fix. It reminds me to take every chance to give her attention for sure. Is it wrong to miss her in advance?
Frustrating Results
I have been feeling better the last few weeks. I have more mojo and stamina. This month, I am trying out a new drug that I inject myself with a tiny insulin needle three times a day. It's a treatment for something else, but the side effects will slow my fluid loss. In the first week, fluid loss went up 30%.
"Yeah, now I am losing weight."
No worries. I am game to see my trial. It reduced my cramping, and my dizziness was reduced. I rode a bike down the block for the first time in eons. And the fluid loss did turn around this week. Today, the insurance company contacted me to say they did not want to cover this latest needle treatment. Frustrated. Like most of my drug tryouts, the meds were not for my particular condition. I think of them as blind dates. My doctor must dispute the insurance denial because I am saddled with an illness with a stupid name and an infuriating lack of effective options. Fingers crossed, there is not a frustrating result.
What am I reading this week?
I am reading The Ministry for The Future by Kim Stanley Robinson for the second time. It fleshes out the options for preventing global warming. He covers many options. No one will do the job: religion, science, banking, political systems, habitat diversity, dirty tricks, and assignation.